Here is my conversation with Dan over text message:
me: hey if we do a first dance could we do 'you're the one that i want' from grease? it's upbeat and catchy and we won't have awkward minutes of people watching us sway to some slow romantic songActually Dan was more skeptical of the whole dancing thing at our venue and with our timing/choice of food, but I've seen photos online of people using the lower patio area as a dance floor. I will find a way to make it happen, I want dancing! Perhaps I will appoint Emily and Caitlin to be dance captains in charge of getting people to dance. Maybe that level of responsibility will distract Emily from her nefarious plan to get all my girlfriends to wear dresses of the same color so people think they are all bridesmaids.
dan: we'll discuss it
me: is that your way of saying 'no this triggers my hassle-causing nontraditional monitor but i am trying to not spoil your fun and shoot down every idea'?
dan: that's one interpretation of my choice of words
Also, as with most ideas, it turns out this isn't nearly as original as I thought it would be. I've also never felt quite right about Sandy's makeover at the end of the film and it all feeds into the 'women must use their sexuality [strike 1] to force men to change [strike 2: men have to be changed] into marriageable material' thing. But, it's still fun and catchy (I couldn't get it out of my head all day today, kept bopping as I walked around SF) and it'd be funny, I think.
The sentiment would be a little bit more solemn for the ceremony, of course, though I think it's probably good to keep some levity in there too. As a life philosophy I try not to take myself too seriously. I really loved this quote posted by A Cupcake Wedding the other day, by David Sarasohn in an article titled, 'A Joint Account That Underwrites Our Marriage':
Being married to someone you respect for being somehow better than you keeps affection alive. That this impressive person chooses you year after year makes you more pleased with yourself, fueling the kind of mutual self-esteem that can get you through decades.Dan does, in fact, make me want to be a better person, and a good chunk of my love for him is that he loves me. He is a fundamentally good person, and he chooses me. So I must not be too bad, too. The sentiment of 'you're the one that I want' turns out to be quite romantic after all, I think.
A link for my own future reference: various sample ceremonies at A Cupcake Wedding to peruse.