I've had this sitting in a draft for awhile because pinning down a timeline seems to have something...final about it, like I'm closing off options to optimize the whole day even more. I'd like people's feedback on whether this seems like it might work, though:
- 9-12: morning setup, flowers (makeup/hair?)
- 12-12:30: lunch
- 12:30-1:30: caterer sets up, immediate family arrives for the posed family group shots
- 1:30: ask guests to start arriving by then, drinks are available (lemonade, iced tea, hot tea, coffee, alcohols)
- 2-2:30 ceremony (probably shorter than 30 minutes though)
- 2:30 onwards: guests enjoy food, drinks, dancing, games...
- 2:30-2:40: Dan and I hang out in the sitting room to take a moment and savor being newlyweds on our own
- 2:40-2:50: photographer comes in to take a few photos of us
- 2:50: we make our 'entrance' (we'll probably just walk in and join the crowd, I don't think I want a formal announcement here or anything)
- Reception until 6:30, Dan and I will head out to have a private dinner. We need to figure out transportation so that Dan can drink as his own wedding.
- I'll probably take a nap back at our apartment.
- If I feel up to it, we may head into Manhattan for an after party/bar-hopping of sorts with all the young folk who are in town.
The whole thing with the timing is balancing it so that people don't need to rush over after lunch and so that it goes on long enough so I don't feel like we spent so much time planning for something that passes in the blink of an eye, but then also ends early enough that people can get home or go out to dinner (but, sustained by the finger food at the reception, not need to get dinner immediately).
I've also toyed with the idea of a welcome picnic of sorts on Friday evening (though most people probably wouldn't arrive in time unless they take time off from work, and I don't want to make people do that), and then some kind of group brunch on Sunday, because there are a lot of people who will be around that I don't get to see very often that I want to spend more time with, but it seems unlikely that that would happen without planning ahead and planning just the one day is already a bit of a project (potentially helpful link: 2000 Dollar Budget Wedding on pay-your-own-way events beyond the wedding day itself). Also, I know that even the wedding itself will tire me out quite a bit and I'll need some time to recharge, so I probably shouldn't be too ambitious with the amount of social activities planned in here.
/ Rebecca Mead
your mind / Kamy Wicoff.
/ Stephanie Coontz
/ the Gottmans
/ Laura Munson
/ Cathi Hanauer
/ Dan Savage
/ Ariel Meadow Stallings
/ Sheryl Paul
/ Kelly Bare
/ Tara Parker-Pope (only the first few chapters, not recommended)
5 comments:
I think your timeline sounds really good. I think you've reached a good balance regarding the arrival times, start times and end times. As a guest, I don't think I would feel rushed or feel like it was too short.
I love the times you've "scheduled" or inserted for you two to relax and enjoy each other...I think it sounds really great and I agree with Ms. Bunny that I wouldn't feel rushed at all. Good work!
great looking schedule! it looks like everything should flow nicely! even if it does not match up exactly, your day will be great!
Great idea to have a time line but don't be so stringent that you can't go with the flow if something changes at the last minute. It'll be my job to see that things are followed per your request so you won't have to worry your pretty little face about it. I can also follow you around to remind you to take deep breaths and enjoy the moment. It won't even cost extra!
Just a few questions - is it COMPLETELY DIY? As in, how much setup do you have, and how much is already set up by venue or vendors? We had the help of my matron of honour, her husband, a friend, another bridesmaid, two groomsmen, and the day-of-coordinator to set up linens, chafers, place settings, glassware, flatware, etc. for 2 hours, and we were still rushed for time to our hair/makeup appointment. Our stylist and her assistant did makeup for myself and my mum, and hair for 5 people, two of whom had short hair so were simple styles, and it still took from 11am to 3pm. I was frantically trying not to be late to the ceremony, but it turned out okay anyway!
The ceremony is definitely not as long as you ever think it will be! Ours had slightly more steps: entrance of moms, bridal party, us, declaration of intent, giving away of the bride, opening prayer, solo by me, a worship song, pastor's sermon on the significance of marriage, vows, ring ceremony, then recessional. Even then, it only took about 30 minutes.
I'd also recommend the pre-ceremony drinks not include alcohol. Even expecting the absolute BEST of everyone you know, sometimes people just get overly excited about drinks they don't pay for, or simply lose track of how much they're having because they're talking/socialising, and can always pick one up without having to specifically order and pay for one. I've seen regularly calm, sober, hardly drink friends get unintentionally drunk at weddings or special events just because it's hard to keep track of how many you've had when refills/another drink is so accessible and always in your hand. It minimises any potential (even minute) distractions during your ceremony. The ceremony is short, so it's not too long to make them wait! ;)
One super important thing - who is coordinating the day-of? Even planning EVERYTHING on your own, somebody to plan day-of, that is not family or bridal party (unless they volunteered), is important, because it takes the stress off you or people already helping you plan/get ready. Ours took the stress off our shoulders when little things were forgotten or misplaced. It's nice just to be able to hand over all your plans, contracts, checklists, and timetable over so that they can oversee everything, cue people, and improvise as needed so you never have to worry about it. I didn't find out until afterward that we'd forgotten an extension cord or to rent trays for the warming oven in the prep kitchen for the food (buffet)! She made the arrangements and drove out to fetch it all for us while we were at makeup/hair. She organised everyone (we didn't have a rehearsal because people were coming in from out of town!) for the ceremony, helped set the musicians up, cued all of us, and did most of the clean-up for us after the banquet! She was a complete godsend!
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